All of life is but endurance
All evil we meet we must endure
Yes every pain, every fault, every wish and dream
Can we really love life?
Is it really ours to possess?
To own? To endure?
Aren't we here for more than endurance?
We are forgiven, but bound
Free, but prisoners in the world
All we long for is available, but impossible
I can't get it
It must be given
All of life is but endurance
And a necessary goal-possessed endurance it is
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Current Update
The lastest email home:
"Hello! Today is the beginning of a new week here for us at KiA Mainz. Even though the weather continually grows bleaker and colder, the heat waves of the kingdom of God are unceasing. I feel privalegded to be doing the work of the Lord here in Mainz, Germany. Even though it may not always be easy or easily seen, it is such a blessing to be a part of it all and witness how God is changing lives. As we are the church we can see how we are not only growing wider here, but deeper as-well. The people who are coming to the Bible studies and the services are beginning to really become a family with the rest of us. We are expanding from about 4 or 5 impact groups, that go out and serve the community in various ways, to 8 groups. People are so curious here as to what it is we do and even more... Why we do what it is we do. It's always great to hear people ask questions because that opens doors to invest into their hearts. There is one particular man that I have been trying to invest in. I usually spend atleast one afternoon a week with him and he teaches me German and I try to teach him English. He doesn't profess to be a Christian but by his lifestyle you would think he was. He is seeking God very intensely and I know that God is revealing Himself to him. It is an encouragement to watch. He has come from a mostly Muslim culture but recognizes what a wrong path it is. This last week as I was spending some time with him he began to tell me how his place was my place.... so I taught him: "Mi casa su casa," being the good English teacher that I am :) . But after that he began to say how he felt like I was kind of like his little brother... I was very moved to hear that. After only a few months this guy already feels so close and comfortable with me to say that. He is moving into the family of God step by step whether he knows it or not! God is Awesome! Please be praying for Hosam Gened. There are stories similar to that happening to almost every person on our team. God is building His church. And not just here but it is being built accross the world! And You are a part of it! I hope that you are continually letting God use you and create new stories in your life everyday. Thank you for being a part of my ministry. I want to be a part of yours as-well. Let me know how I can be praying for you. I want to hear your stories.Also, be praying for me as I am preaching this coming Sunday. Pray that God will give me His word for His people. I appreciate also if you will continue to pray for my fiance, Emily, and me as we are seeking the Lord's guidance as we decide our next step pursuing ministry together after we are married in May. I pray that the LORD's unconditional love would be made real in your life today.Thank you for your prayers and support. In Christ!Caleb Haynes "Therefore, my dear brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord's work, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." - 1st Corinthians 15:58 "
"Hello! Today is the beginning of a new week here for us at KiA Mainz. Even though the weather continually grows bleaker and colder, the heat waves of the kingdom of God are unceasing. I feel privalegded to be doing the work of the Lord here in Mainz, Germany. Even though it may not always be easy or easily seen, it is such a blessing to be a part of it all and witness how God is changing lives. As we are the church we can see how we are not only growing wider here, but deeper as-well. The people who are coming to the Bible studies and the services are beginning to really become a family with the rest of us. We are expanding from about 4 or 5 impact groups, that go out and serve the community in various ways, to 8 groups. People are so curious here as to what it is we do and even more... Why we do what it is we do. It's always great to hear people ask questions because that opens doors to invest into their hearts. There is one particular man that I have been trying to invest in. I usually spend atleast one afternoon a week with him and he teaches me German and I try to teach him English. He doesn't profess to be a Christian but by his lifestyle you would think he was. He is seeking God very intensely and I know that God is revealing Himself to him. It is an encouragement to watch. He has come from a mostly Muslim culture but recognizes what a wrong path it is. This last week as I was spending some time with him he began to tell me how his place was my place.... so I taught him: "Mi casa su casa," being the good English teacher that I am :) . But after that he began to say how he felt like I was kind of like his little brother... I was very moved to hear that. After only a few months this guy already feels so close and comfortable with me to say that. He is moving into the family of God step by step whether he knows it or not! God is Awesome! Please be praying for Hosam Gened. There are stories similar to that happening to almost every person on our team. God is building His church. And not just here but it is being built accross the world! And You are a part of it! I hope that you are continually letting God use you and create new stories in your life everyday. Thank you for being a part of my ministry. I want to be a part of yours as-well. Let me know how I can be praying for you. I want to hear your stories.Also, be praying for me as I am preaching this coming Sunday. Pray that God will give me His word for His people. I appreciate also if you will continue to pray for my fiance, Emily, and me as we are seeking the Lord's guidance as we decide our next step pursuing ministry together after we are married in May. I pray that the LORD's unconditional love would be made real in your life today.Thank you for your prayers and support. In Christ!Caleb Haynes "Therefore, my dear brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord's work, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." - 1st Corinthians 15:58 "
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A Lament
I have been so sheltered. Up until now the only implications that my gender has had on who I am in Christ is the occasional party or lunch meeting. It seems that I have, once again, been humbled by the grace of God. I have been brought up in heaven. For heaven is where the Kingdom of God comes to earth. In Christ making me like himself, throughout my life he has enabled others, who have been advocates on behalf of women (like me) who are lead into leadership and the 'equipping of the saints,' to open the Kingdom of God to me. Now that I see that heaven is not the norm for the world, I am in a place to realize the grace that God has allowed me up until now. I am sad that man does not measure me by my heart. I join the cry of God's children in saying, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed (2 Cor 4:8-9). The signs were not blatant. A glance by One, at all the guys at the table, that excluded only me, a feeling of dismissal, and a realization that 'pastoral' ministry was on the top of the unwritten list of important things for the determination of important people were the warning signs. Most hard to swallow, and easiest to ignore, was the 'opportunity' of one man. He ended the night by approaching me and telling me that an opportunity might be available; not for me, but for my fiance. I am disappointed because I was not seen, and I was not validated. I am the one who bakes bread for another to eat. I am disappointed at myself for groveling at the importance of a man who offered me an offense while offering my finance a job. I, too, judge man by his outward appearance. As a ebed of my Lord, here is my response:
Lord how long will you abide in shadows?
I am attacked in daylight by my brother
There is no one to affirm my identity
My tears are scorned by my own
I am tempted to forget who you made me in order to become desirable
Why has your desire for me not attacked me?
Why am I not protected from ignorant insults of insignificance?
For your sake I endure insults
I appear fine, but you hear my despairing cry!
My bones cry out and my composure lies
I cannot deliver myself from the trouble I endure
I deserved death, but your grace is sufficient
Apply my identity to my humanity!
As my lawyer, defend my mind and my heart
Act on the behalf of your servant
When you restore my honor, I will worship you
I will declare to your face the tears of humility
When you rescue me I will remember your love
Deliver me for your own name's sake
I am your dependant one
I will speak of the Christ forever
-Emily
Lord how long will you abide in shadows?
I am attacked in daylight by my brother
There is no one to affirm my identity
My tears are scorned by my own
I am tempted to forget who you made me in order to become desirable
Why has your desire for me not attacked me?
Why am I not protected from ignorant insults of insignificance?
For your sake I endure insults
I appear fine, but you hear my despairing cry!
My bones cry out and my composure lies
I cannot deliver myself from the trouble I endure
I deserved death, but your grace is sufficient
Apply my identity to my humanity!
As my lawyer, defend my mind and my heart
Act on the behalf of your servant
When you restore my honor, I will worship you
I will declare to your face the tears of humility
When you rescue me I will remember your love
Deliver me for your own name's sake
I am your dependant one
I will speak of the Christ forever
-Emily
Monday, November 3, 2008
Jesus
"We decided that finding Jesus wasn't that difficult. It's just that sometimes He seems to hide behind trees and clouds. Other times He is a little more bold and looks at us through human eyes and smiles at us with human lips and teeth. Sometimes He is even so kind as to reach out and touch us."
-This Beautiful Mess pg 102
-This Beautiful Mess pg 102
