Poverty, Wisdom and the Unhacked Life
Recently, my family has gone through a pretty big transition. This year, we grew into a family of 4 and doubled our self-employment efforts. Our own blood, sweat, and tears (literally) are the resources we have to pay our bills... and I'm still not sure if they will be enough.
Once our taxes were all said and done last year, I had the realization that we live in poverty. This knowledge should probably cause me great distress, but honestly, I feel surprisingly grateful. There are so many people in our lives that make us more wealthy that the government knows how to measure on a Form 1099. In friendships, home-cooked meals, community connections, family support and love our lives are very, very rich.
After 2 months of marriage, when it became clear that I was going to be our family's financial guru, I knew I had a large task ahead of me. These "ways to save" were conceived over excel spreadsheets that didn't add up and the prayers for wisdom that accompanied them.
In an internet culture that strives for relevance, click-bait "hacks" have become popular ways to systematize a series of creative fixes for wherever you may feel is a pain-point. If you need an organized kitchen, ways to save time or want to become highly successful look no further than the hack articles. They will give you everything you need; everything but wisdom.
A mindset lurks behind these hacks that I have become more and more sensitive to. Like an allergic reaction that gets worse with continued exposure, I suffer from the message these articles send. They paint a world where success is dependent on cheating life.
I watched a commercial for a new rheumatoid arthritis medicine the other day that made me actually wish I had arthritis. The picture of smiling moms pushing their kids on bikes and connecting with each other was almost too good to pass up. If an arthritis medicine will also cure the longings of my soul, sign me up for the disease.
As much as I wish we could buy or cheat our way to a beautifully fulfilled life, the disease of our heart calls out to us with tears and begs us to surrender. Life is not simple, it doesn't always have happy endings. My husband, Caleb, likes to say, "Life isn't an Instagram." To me, that is wisdom.
So no, these ways to save money won't save your marriage, your longing for success or your loneliness. For those things, you need wisdom (and I would suggest a hospitable faith community, a counselor, and some good coffee while you are at it).
I hope this article can remind you today, that we are all just barely making it out there and you are not alone. I also hope these practical tips will spur some creativity about how you can do the hard work of poverty, wisdom and the unhacked life.
The List
Finding an honest mechanic is about as easy as figuring out how the physical part of the internet works (amazing by the way). Don't give up! There are very few things that will cost you more unnecessary money over the years than relying on a dealership or an oil change place to tell you what is wrong with your car. They prey on women, ignorance, and fear. One oil changing company told my husband they could not give him our car back because it was too unsafe to drive, which was a ridiculous way of trying to pressure him to let them "fix" some unbroken part. He promptly drove to our HONEST mechanic, Robert, who checked it out and said it was fine.
2. Think About Gifts
Five minutes before we rush out the door to a birthday party I think, "Oh no, what are we going to give them!" Let's stop at Target on the way and I'll grab something I tell my husband, who is frustrated that we will be late. I'm confident this has never happened to anyone else, but I think I still can help cut down the high cost of fancy gifts for family and friends for you. The key is to think. It is amazing how revolutionary this idea is in our consumer culture. Think about someone's special day far enough in advance to plan a great gift that doesn't break the bank. Our family and friends love us; not our cheaply crafted Target emergency guilt-purchases. Thinking how to celebrate someone's life can be as simple as thinking deeply about that person and the things they need or love. I know everyone is not good at it, so I suggest cheating a little. See if they have an Amazon wish list, Pinterest board or check their Facebook posts for ideas. Create something that they love like home-made pickles or give them a night out by volunteering to babysit their kids for free. If it is a child you are buying for, ask the parents what they are into right now or what experiences they would like to have. As a parent, I would love to have a say in what my children receive.
3. Social Crowd Source
Use this sparingly, but in areas that the cost of something new is high and the likelihood of someone else having an old one sitting in their Goodwill donate pile is also high: throw up what you need on your favorite social media platform. I have used this a few times with great success. Sometimes, I wanted to purchase something used to cut costs and consumerism (like an extra set of baby monitors when I had #2) and sometimes I was trying to keep from paying retail (like an old phone when mine broke). I would venture to guess your community wants to help you if they can, and they can’t if they don’t know what you need!
4. Throw Cheap Parties
So your graduating, your baby is turning 1, you have an annual Christmas cookie party, or you are throwing your best friend's bachelorette party: start with an informed budget. Check out the elements that are essentials (for me that is always paper invitations, food and décor). Draft some line items and put down something reasonable and affordable. If you can only afford $15 then read this great post about throwing your kids birthday party for that. You can do it! It may not be everything you wanted, but when you simplify a party you have more time to focus on celebrating in the midst of it instead of hosting. That should be your #1 goal. Tips: Borrow, borrow, borrow. Find someone who regularly gets asked to host parties and ask if you can go through their party stash and borrow a few things. They are usually more than happy to share the love with a friend. Party stuff is expensive and only gets used a few times. Ask away.
5. Credit Card Churning
I am not a big advocate of credit card churning for one reason: it is complex and I want life to be as simple as possible. However, when you are planning on spending a bunch of money at once (think home renovations or buying a new car), consider signing up for a card or two that will give you a massive amount of credit card points for spending 2-4K in the first 3 months. Then go to Hawaii for you 30th birthday like I’m doing next year. Just be sure and cancel the cards before the first annual fee hits.
6. Eat at Home
For the first time in history, Americans are spending more money at restaurants than they are buying groceries to cook at home. In Michael Pollen’s documentary series, “Cooked” research draws a correlation between the amount of time you spend cooking at home and how healthy someone is. Home cooked meals are not only more nutritious, but they are WAY less expensive. Tips: Buy snack food too and treats if you eat them. That will save a bundle at convenience stores and late-night ice cream runs.
7. Barter
It is not practical for every area of life, but bartering is the only way to eliminate the government from taxing trade. Swap goods, food and childcare. There is really no limit to the kind of things you can barter. I’m currently looking for more ideas about how to barter. If you have some, share!
8. Chiropractic Care
If you know me well at all, I have probably talked about Chiropractic at some point with you. I can sing those praises all day. About 6 years ago I was in constant pain while sitting, standing and lying down. My doctor at the time gave me some exercises to do, when that didn’t work he said he wanted to diagnose me with Fibromyalgia. I asked him, “What is that?” His response, “It is something we use to diagnose women when they have pain and we don’t know why.” That is when I started researching Chiropractors in the area. I found one and after a few tears about the price, an adjusted billing amount and a couple months of visits I was pain-free. To maintain health and freedom from pain, I continue to go about 1x a month or more often if I am pregnant or sick. My AWESOME chiropractor has cured ear infections for my daughters, colds, headaches and most miraculously, the TMJ had since I was a child. You may be asking yourself how this saves you money. Chiropractic care cures problems that surgeons and physical therapists hundreds of thousands of dollars to cure with surgery and exercise. It is proven that prevention is way less expensive than full-blown disease. Chiropractic are is a way to feel good now and let your wallet feel good later.
9. Get Rid of your Clothes Dryer
So you have a couple kids and this doesn’t sound appealing. I might agree if I had done it after having kids, but let me try to sell you on it.
Reason #1 your electric bill: A dryer uses up more energy than almost any other single item in your house, get rid of yours and you should see an immediate drop in how much you are paying
Reason #2 your clothes: My family recently watched the documentary True Costs. Well that just changed everything about how we buy clothes, but also how we care for them after we have them. It affirmed the desire in us to keep our clothes as long as we can. Did you know that not drying your clothes means they will last 2x as long?
Reason #3 the environment/global warming (yes, you can call me a hippie now): Dryers are one of the largest pollutants in a house emitting gasses into the atmosphere and burning dirty coal that adds to global warming. The most immediate way you can subsidize your carbon footprint is to switch to solar power when it comes to drying your clothes.
10. Weatherize and Thermostatize
Okay "thermostatize" is not a word, but if you live in Nashville and qualify, weatherization could be free. Check here and here. There are likely similar programs in other cities. Weatherization is sealing up cracks, installing insulation and providing repairs that make your home stay warmer in the winter, cooler in the summer and cheaper all the time. The idea is both eco-friendly and budget friendly. Weatherization fixes the problems that cost you and our limited energy resources unnecessarily. When I say thermostatize I mean to try to set you thermostat as close to 68 degrees in the winter and 78 degrees
11. If you need a pet, get a turtle
Call me a hater but after paying for the pet, shots, litter, food, bedding, treats, pet rent and for all the shoes you will have to replace a turtle is the money-saving pet of choice. Just be sure your pet is legal.
12. Unsubscribe
Groupon taught me an important lesson: if you see a great deal on a massage you start to think how much you could use a massage. Quickly you realize how much you need a massage and in a moment of weakness when you really just need sympathy from your boss or care from your spouse, you buy said massage. It was a good deal after all. As my mom said when she went on a budget for the first time at 59 years of age, “I have just got to stop going to stores.” Good advice mom, but remember to keep marketers out of your inbox too. If the email is selling you something, unsubscribe. Especially if it is something you are tempted by.
13. Switch to Save
There are a few industries that for whatever reason are both highly competitive and highly corrupt. The two that stand out to me the most are car insurance companies and cell phone companies. Both of these areas of your budget you will have to deal with, but chances are, if you haven’t reviewed your plan or changed providers in a while, you are probably missing the best rates in the biz. I know it is time-consuming, but renegotiating your plan or changing providers every two years could save you as much as $100 a month between these two line items. Tips: add roadside assistance to car insurance for a couple dollars a month instead of paying for AAA. Know what you need before you go shopping for a cell plan and talk to a friend who works in the business before you talk to a salesperson. If your phone breaks ask friends for old phones before you go buy a new one.
14. Refer Your Friends
Remember how I like massages? Sometimes you can get them for free. Add value to a business that you really believe in: refer your friends. I remember after referring at least half a dozen friends to my chiropractor, he was saying thanks and I said, “How about a free massage?” He said, “You got it.” There are a ton of businesses that offer referral kickbacks or benefits, but I found the most valuable ones are the ones you have personal relationships with that you will actually have to ask for.
15. Borrow it
I have a library in my mind of who owns what. I’m not a creeper, I love to throw awesome parties and a great party is in the details. So I remember who has those awesome serving platters, the beautiful tablecloths, the chalkboard signs, the nice cream and sugar containers and the pretty winter décor. I don’t ask to borrow stuff that I think someone is likely to use or need, I try to stick to the stuff in storage. Party supplies are expensive, so when I ask around my friends are usually happy someone is using the thing they spent so much to use once or twice.
16. Community Supported Agriculture
Some would probably describe my cooking/eating as picky, but I am really only picky about one thing: quality. Give me a corn-dog or raw kale and I’ll be into it as long as it doesn’t have high-fructose corn syrup, isn’t laced with pesticides and doesn’t have ingredients that have been injected with a virus to modify its genes. My grocery budget is the only budget that I plan to increase in coming years. Quality is a huge value. While I feel spoiled at Whole Foods, I might miss a mortgage payment if I shop there on a regular basis. For the past 5 years, my family has shared a single share of a 30-week CSA with another family. Not only does sharing cut the cost of all my vegetables to $10 a week, many of the foods are labeled “free choice” meaning, even for as little as $10 we can get as many sweet potatoes or tomatoes we can eat that week. We have also done a fabulous meat CSA at times. Oh yeah, did I mention the vegetables are all locally grown and biodynamic? I’d say “beet that,” but I’m not corny.
17. Taxes the Professional Way
It is tempting to do it online yourself for free. I mean if you are making about 40K, it seems pretty straight forward. BUT if you own a business, a house, are a pastor, or are even close to low income, you should definitely use a tax professional. Tax law is just too complex and too important when it comes to credits, deductions, business expense and clergy. It might cost you a little, but you will likely see a bigger refund (or at least less expense). It is painful to pay, but this is one area where a calculated cost could save you a lot. There are free programs, but just make sure the person you use is a specialist in the areas you need.
18. Don’t Opt Out of Worker’s Compensation
Just. Don’t. Do. It. Under certain circumstances, you may be eligible to opt out of paying the mandatory worker's compensation insurance. There is a reason worker's comp is mandatory. It is important. When my husband cut 5 tendons, 2 nerves and an artery in his wrist on the job last December, we became aware of just how important worker's comp is. It pays all medical expenses and 66% of your income while you are out of work. Just be sure and apply within 24 hours of the injury or you could miss your window.
19. Health Care
Christian Healthcare Ministries: This one not everyone will or can get into, but it will be a great option for some. Being self-employed as well as generally hating health insurance companies pushed me to search out other options. We joined Christian Healthcare Ministries about 5 years ago before both of my daughters were born. This non-profit Christian organization requires you don't smoke and that you drink only within Biblical guidelines. You also must profess to be Christian (not my rules). We have filed 4 claims in the past 5 years under their Gold Level membership, 2 for my births, 1 for a hospital stay for me and 1 for a broken nose for my husband. They have always been faithful to pay their part and I love to know my monthly contribution is going to help other's medical bills instead of the man's yacht. Oh yeah, and the best part is it only costs $300 a month and qualifies as acceptable insurance under the Affordable Care Act. Several moms I have talked to have paid $5,000 or more out-of-pocket for their hospital births, after insurance. I got to have my births my way at home and paid only $500 each time. It is a lovely program and they are lovely people.
TennCare: The bane of my existence does really provide great care for my children. We could not afford health insurance for my kiddos without it, so I am thankful.
20. Dental Insurance
If you are like me and have been cursed with a mouth full of a very risky inheritance, then my advice is to calculate the cost to see if dental insurance is worth it for you. We pay $64 a month for my husband and me to have insurance. This year we have probably saved about $1,500 in dental expenses because of it (that is after we paid the yearly $768 for insurance). Tip: Find a dentist you like and who likes you! I had to have a root canal and crown last November (cost: $2,500 without insurance) and this week had to have that tooth pulled because the root cracked. My WONDERFUL dentist (thanks Dr. Andrews!) is giving me a free implant and crown because he felt bad about me paying for the same tooth twice in one year.
21. Childcare Creativity
I have to admit that I have struggled with this one more than most. A recent study found childcare costs for non-school aged children has now risen above college tuition in some areas of the country. This has been a hard reality for me and my family to swallow. When my first daughter was born we were able to work out a beautiful situation of childcare-swapping with another family who had a baby about the same time. Her mother worked 16 hours a week and we were able to synchronize our schedules so that the other one of us had both children while we weren’t working 4 days a week. My mother-in-law stepped in and watched my baby on Fridays which gave me 24 work hours a week. This resulted in what looked like free childcare on paper. We also had the pleasure of developing a close relationship to that child that we still cherish to this day. After that period ended, in a great act of self-sacrifice another friend offered to watch my child for free two days a week for several months. This was a gift we will never be able to repay. Finally, as my second daughter was born and I was starting my business, we had to find something more sustainable and we enrolled my daughter in a government approved pre-school where she attends at least two days a week. My youngest is on the waiting list for the infant classroom in that preschool and we have applied for government assistance that (if we get approved) should take our weekly childcare costs down to about $84 weekly.
22. Browser Extensions
Honey: A browser extension that reads what site you are on and searches recorded discount codes. Here is the beautiful part: when you allow it, Honey tests available codes for the popular shopping site you are on and then automatically applies the one that gives the best discount. Tips: Honey only tends to work on more well-known sites.
Ebates: If you don’t spend a lot online, this won’t save you a bundle, but there is no reason not to take advantage of the money you could get back from a third party referral site like Ebates.com. They make kickback money when they refer people to retail sites and share part of that with you. The convenient thing is that they have a browser extension that prompts you to activate cash back on relevant sites. So with one-click you could literally earn dozens of dollars. The best deal I have run across was 10% back at Microsoft when I was looking at buying a $1,000 computer. Earning $100 in one second is well worth the one minute it will take you to sign up.
23. Make Baby Food & Buy Cheerios
Under these next two items I would say, “don’t have kids,” but my heart would be lying. Have kids if you can, if you can’t, adopt or foster. Adopt or foster anyway. Kids are amazing. Okay, enough mushy stuff… on to baby food. Baby food is extremely expensive for what it is: watered down simple foods that cost almost nothing when you buy them in their original state. How much is a banana? $0.10? How much is a jar of banana baby food that contains about 1/3 of an actual banana? $1. That is 30x the cost! Don’t get suckered into advertising. It is a little more work, but pureeing food is about as easy as it gets when it comes to cooking. I use the Baby Bullet and the same brand steamer. I puree bananas, avocados, squash, carrots, potatoes, peas, rice, mac and cheese, pears and watermelon. I buy cans of organic beans and corn. I buy simple oat baby cereal. I buy organic hummus, plain yogurt, and applesauce. After your baby can handle those little pieces of puff gold, see if they can handle Cheerios (or the off brand), you will save about 90%. Be smart don’t buy in.
24. Cloth Diaper
There is a small percentage of people who might be swayed to cloth diaper if you’re just starting out… I’m talking to you! Diapers are VERY expensive and are packed with chemicals. Some are natural and even biodegradable, but they are MORE expensive and there is nowhere (around Nashville) to take industrial biodegradable compost. There is a very cheap, very natural, very eco-friendly way to pamper that smooth baby booty. Cloth diapers can be very cheap if you want to work a little harder (think pre-folds and covers) or a little more expensive up front if you want it to be easy. I spent about $270 of gift money up front and received several diapers and supplies at my baby shower to get the one-size, all-in-one options. You can buy used diapers on Craigslist or other like-sites and you can use cloth wipes. Modest estimates are that cloth diapers will save you about $500 a year after the initial costs.
25. Understand Life Insurance
This is an important one because if an accident happens, your family will be dependent on your planning or lack thereof around life insurance. In my opinion, there are few things more confusing than understanding the different kinds of life insurance and why you would need one kind or amount over another in different seasons of your life. I never understood it myself until I met with a financial advisor who literally drew me a map of a lifespan and explained why we might need certain life insurance now that we won't need later. We ended up taking half a million dollar more out in life insurance after that conversation and I feel much more confident about our plan in the event of a tragedy. Check out David Pankake if you need an advisor of your own.
This is an important one because if an accident happens, your family will be dependent on your planning or lack thereof around life insurance. In my opinion, there are few things more confusing than understanding the different kinds of life insurance and why you would need one kind or amount over another in different seasons of your life. I never understood it myself until I met with a financial advisor who literally drew me a map of a lifespan and explained why we might need certain life insurance now that we won't need later. We ended up taking half a million dollar more out in life insurance after that conversation and I feel much more confident about our plan in the event of a tragedy. Check out David Pankake if you need an advisor of your own.
